first of all, thank you for caring about what is going on in our communities and adding your voice to the discussion and solution. however, i must disagree. you stated that "People of color have to show the world/white america there is nothing to fear about the black man." and i ask, why do we have to prove to white people that we are human and not animals. this attitude has actually been part of the problem in the black community, in that we have been waiting patiently for white people to "come around" and somehow how grant us what is inherently mine from birth. what white person is trying to show us that WE (the black community) doesn't have to fear them? is the Ferguson/St. Louis police department trying to show the black residents of those cities that they don't have to fear them? NO!. they put on armament and pull out there military arsenal and say if you don't act right (they way they wish us to act) we will kill you; all of you. your women, your children, and your black men. we will beat your black women on the side of the freeway. we put nine bullets, within 20 seconds of arrival on then scene, your mentally ill black men who steal (not literally, because what sane person steals and waits for the police) two sodas. yet, a mentally ill white man who shots up a movie theater and kills and injures over 20+ people, they negotiate a surrender and talk about how he's so troubled and no one tried to help him. but a black man like Michael Brown, who hasn't killed anyone is gunned down because he was automatically suspected of being a violent criminal, although he had NEVER killed anyone. black people have to claim and assert their rights and not care what white people think. that's not an attack against white people, it is simply claiming what is mine from birth. the same way white people NEVER have to even think about asserting that right because they believe and live as thought that right is inherently theirs. i could go on, but mayber there are others who want to lend their voice to the discussion. but i am not waiting on the curb all nervous until white people decide to give me my "unalienable right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness." let them prove to us that they are not domestic terrorists, killing and incarcerating our black men and WOMEN. let them prove to us that they are creating a society and environment that marginalizes black people and other people of color. we should be the ones running to the other side of the street when we see them coming, especially the police, because we might be murdered, even if we do the right thing and have commited no crime, as i was almost murdered on my own porch last July. this after being searched by the police, had no weapon, and had commited no crime. i don't have to show white people anything except mutual respect, if it is given to me as well. i am not trying to start a war, and anyone assuming that is not listening or understaning my message. because a black man asserts his human rights in America, it is not the diminishment of white people and their right. however, when white america assert their rights, it is to the dminishment of the human rights of black people and people of color. think about it.
i don't understand how to feel anymore. about living as a black man. i don't know how i'm supposed to live as a black man in america. because even if you obey and surrender (Michael Brown) the probability is that they will still shoot you. they negotiated and arrested the Unabomber; they arrested Timothy McVeigh; the mentally ill young man in Colorado still had his weapons with him and they negotiated with him and arrested him. all of them were "MASS MURDERERS." over and over again we see the disparity of treatment for Black males. i feel as though we are (Black Males) these rare animals that are hunted until we become extinct. and then this young man was shot nine (9) times. then after he was dead, they handcuffed him. but i am sure that that was protocol. the indignity of it ALL is nauseating and sickening on so many levels. the hard part for me, is that i know that ALL policemen aren't inherently BAD. but it's the CULTURE that is perpetuated,by "GOOD" cops not speaking out against what is happening when they know it's wrong. the st. louis police reported that he had the knife raised, within 4 feet, and attacking the officers. that certainly wasn't the case in the video. his hands were at his side. i don't understand how to feel anymore. about living as a black man. i honestly don't know how i'm supposed to live as a black man in america. should i become a modern day Stepin Fetchit. a caricature of man begging white america to see me as human? am i not entitled to the same air and unalienable rights as they? should i arm myself with the same type of military arsenal and shot first mentality because i am afraid for my life every time i leave the almost safe confines of my home. i say almost because just last year, a police officer pulled his service revolver to shot me on my own front after i had commited no crime; and even after i had voluntarily allowed him to search me for weapons, that i don't own, and was wearing no shirt and just pajama bottoms. i don't understand how to feel anymore. about living as a black man. i honestly don't know how i'm supposed to live as a black man in america. maybe i am not human. maybe as a black man i am only 3/5ths human. unevolved and deserving to be put down. how do i tell my son that he must stay hidden in brush? don't show yourself.keep your head down and don't become overly emotional. how do i tell my son that mass murderers are given more of a benefit of the doubt than he will ever receive in this country? maybe he'll learn to hate his blackness as much as Michael Jackson did. i grew up in an era when my silence and submission were necessary for survival. that era is still here. i don't understand how to feel anymore. about living as a black man. i honestly don't know how i'm supposed to live as a black man in america.
it is twilight in America. the time of living when it is most difficult for the sincerest of individuals to see injustice...black injustice clearly. see it’s face like a plump, soft, out-of-shape neighborhood watchman as the perpetuation of white supremacy. see it as soccer moms who bake rice krispy treats and sit on juries that don’t convict murderers of black boys who are unable to defend themselves. which is impossible to do when you are left in a morgue freezer for several days unidentified although your identification is in your front pocket. even if your death is videotaped by numerous onlookers on a train platform, while those who are trained to assassinate guiltless black males with impunity confess to doing so; but requests absolution because they didn’t realize that black males were on the endangered species list. it’s way past winter Gil; past that perfectly cold season that has the ability to chill the spread of this infection. not even the CDC has a vault that could adequately freeze, maintain, and isolate this uniquely American disease.
black males continue to feel the basic instinct of trying to run for cover, desperately seeking asylum in America. but if such a place truly existed, don’t you think you that we would have found it by now, after more than five hundred years of running. sadly there is no safety to run to. even though black men know how to run, well, because this has been the easiest thing for us to do. no safe haven. no legislation powerful enough to safety black men from targets tattooed upon our chests, into our psyche. no, not even the DNA of black babies is safe.
so black men continue to run, but not for our lives. we have come to understand that running for our lives would be the most foolish thing we could ever do. this is because our LIVES would have to have infinitely more VALUE if we were going to try and save it. so we cannot run for our lives because what is the value of a black man in America. 41 shots, eleven months, or a not guilty verdict?
when does the milk carton campaign began for black males? when will anthropologists stop digging up our bones from the cold pavement of states like Flo-Rid-a? truth be told, the black man in America has never had a chance to grow, to flourish. i know what the critics will say, look at how iron has entered into the black man’s soul and what he has accomplished, in spite of it being hunting season upon black males since we were first transplanted here. look at his successes in music, athletics, and gaze upon the fact that we have a black man presently in the whitest house in America. every black Moses born into this system of survival has had to be hid, protected from the sheriff of white supremacy; who, whenever that ebony seedling is born into this world says to, “kill it before it grow.”
and this should become the clarion of every black mother across this country. don’t allow another black male to enter into this desperation; black males running daily from what can never be eluded or protected from. fear so palpable that it is the garment we dress our little black boys in before we send them off learn that they will NEVER be valued. abort black males before they can become enslaved on 21st century plantations (for profit prisons), maimed, genetically altered, exploited, or blood-let (murdered). because it is twilight in America. the time of living when it is most difficult for the sincerest of individuals to see injustice...black injustice clearly.